DEVELOPMENT AND TESTING: We sat in our study late at night, 40-year-old scotch in hands, ruminating on the next great swag accessory to craft. How do you let your friends know you are running components from the best company in the world? YES, That’s it! A BANNER! And so we made banners.
We ask for but a meager space on your wall, 4′ x 2′ to be exact, in which to show off the two most important aspects of automobiles – sounding good and going fast(er)! How will you explain to your peers how awesome you are without coming off as smug (you’re not) when they see this in your garage? Your partner will be impressed – far too impressed – and you may find yourself at the mercy of their unrelenting passion once they find out you’re the coolest person in the world (you ARE) after they catch one glimpse at your loyalty to such a great brand.
Let’s get to the real benefits now. You will be faster – instilled with unbounded confidence. Your cars will be too intimidated by you to leak any fluids. The symphonies of pleasurable sound erupting from your vehicle will strike jealousy in the heavens abo….oh actually that’s from your SOUL exhaust.
CONSTRUCTION: We cannot share our top secret process for printing such a perfect banner as it would lead to copious and relentless competition and imitations – and THERE CAN ONLY BE SOUL. That said, we hand select only the finest 13 oz. Matte Vinyl Black vinyl in which to adorn our logo – because you deserve only the best! A grommet is lovingly installed on every corner to make hanging easier because life is hard enough as it is.
INSTRUCTIONS: Step 1, Remove banner from tube. Step 2, hang up. Step 3, admire your work. Step 4, transcend into a higher dimension, crush your enemies, then rule the world through unwavering compassion.
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